I love being a working mom.
I wasn’t always sure I would, and the first few weeks back after
maternity leave were a challenge met with many tears and pangs of guilt. However, at some point I started to hit my
stride and I actually remember the exact moment when things really turned
around. I was leaving the office after a
long day, and I opened my car door to hoist my laptop bag into the
backseat. It landed on top of a teething
toy that squeaked loudly in protest. I
immediately and involuntarily smiled and was filled with a sense of purpose and
determination. “I’m doing this,” I
thought. This was my life, and I was
going to embrace it in all its craziness.
Of course there is still guilt and second guessing that periodically creeps in, but I’m going to go
ahead and assume that happens to every mom no matter what.
Continuing to pursue my career is a personal decision and
one that has just, well, worked for
our family. I love my job and my employer and
find my work intellectually stimulating and rewarding in so many ways. I love putting on heels in the morning and
bustling into an office building with a hopeful and naive notion that I can
change the world. I love meetings and
presentations, projects and challenges.
I love being hit with a surprise twist in a timeline and configuring a
new strategy. I love getting to know new
people and collaborating to solve a problem and create incredible results.
And of course I believe, first and foremost, that my decision
provides value for my child, otherwise I wouldn’t do it no matter how much I
loved it. This can’t be said enough
times so I’ll say it again: this is a personal decision, and I have all the
respect in the world for moms who choose to stay home full time. I couldn’t do what you do! For our family, my husband and I believe our
son benefits from the independence and social interaction a school setting can offer,
as well as the community of wonderful caregivers he is exposed to. I also believe as he gets older I can be
proud of the example I’m setting for him of hard work and balance.
In the most lighthearted sense, the true upside of being a
working mom comes in the sheer humor of it all.
On most days my life can be described as an ongoing hilarity of
contrast. I can’t count the number of
times I’ve found myself hunched over the sink in the laundry room, scrubbing a
bodily function out of crib sheets while wearing a skirt. The irony is not lost on me, and in my hurry
I often pause to chuckle to myself. I,
like so many others, have left work for holiday parties at school, conducted
conference calls at home with a baby on my hip, and followed up children’s
bedtime stories with a little light reading on the latest work emergency.
I recall one instance when my son was a year old, and I was
preparing to facilitate a morning meeting with some executives who are far more
important than I could ever hope to be. I
ducked into the restroom at work for a quick last minute check and discovered
an undeniable dribble of dried up snot on the shoulder of my black jacket. I frantically tried to remove it with paper
towels, concentrating on perfecting the delicate water to towel ratio so as to
effectively remove the stain without having paper particles disintegrate onto
my clothes. Another woman came into the
restroom, took one look at me and smiled.
“We’ve all been there,” she said.
“Enjoy every minute of it.”
I think of that encounter often to remind myself to be
grateful and reflective in moments like these rather than letting the stress
and fear of embarrassment overcome me. I
can choose to be frustrated when I find streaks on my pants from some excited
banana hands, or I can relish in the memory of my morning and look forward to
the time I’ll spend with my son that afternoon.
These things are humanizing, and they are perfect representations of
real life. As my restroom comrade wisely
put it, “We’ve all been there.” They say
if you’re intimidated by a group of people you should imagine them in their
underwear. I prefer to envision their
home lives, punctuated with scenes of children throwing tantrums amid the chaos
of getting dinner on the table. Regardless
of who we are or what we do for a living, these things are included in our
common denominator, which is really a lot more common that we let ourselves
think.
The things that keep us real keep us connected and
relatable, and there is nothing more humbling for me than being a working mom. When I see another woman heading into work in
the morning with a laptop on one shoulder and a breast pump bag slung over the
other shoulder I have to stop myself from offering an enthusiastic high
five. “You’re doing it!” I want to shout
excitedly to her. “WE are doing it!! Isn’t it amazing?! WE are amazing!” But instead of playing the part of the crazy
woman in the parking lot before the kind people of the world have been allowed
their caffeine, I generally just smile to myself and collect this as another
piece of encouragement for this incredible journey.
